Lucky for Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson and Alicia Sacramone, Michael Phelps doesn’t break out the blush brush or accent his brown eyes with volumizing mascara. The trio of adorable U.S. gymnasts will appear in CoverGirl ads, joining the company of other famous CoverGirls like Rihanna and Drew Barrymore. The flipping, cartwheeling and swinging squad actually signed a deal with the cosmetics company before their trip to Beijing, allowing a CoverGirl team to create custom make-up looks for each of the gymnasts. The team’s silver-medal success and the individual achievements of Nastia and Shawn will mean more ads and maybe a little more moola. Kudos to CG for skipping the tacky eye shadow a la that little 14-year-old Chinese gymnast. Note: bright blue eyeshadow doesn’t make you look older, just straight out of the 80s.

The Primetime Emmy Awards may finally move from Snooze-ville to a mildly entertaining trophy-fest as a persistent rumor has popped up that reports funny lady Kathy Griffin will present at this year’s show. Only presenting?! If the producers had any sense, they would book the My Life on the D-List star to host the TV schmoozefest.

What can you not buy at Cracker Barrel? From holiday-themed home accessories to omelets to rocking chairs, the comfort food restaurant chain is the ultimate shopping destination for people who want to drop money in a place that smells like French Toast and scented candles. Add Kenny Rogers’ latest CD to the Cracker Barrel shopping list as the country star has tapped the restaurant to sell “Kenny Rogers: 50 Years.” Not available anywhere else, the album sells for $11.99 and features old hits like “Lucille” and “The Gambler” along with three new tunes.

Procter & Gamble hopes that a new $60 million marketing campaign featuring fashion guru Tim Gunn of “Project Runway” and a tie-in with Ann Taylor Loft stores can spell success for what the company calls the biggest product launch ever. The ad campaign for Tide detergent and Downy fabric softener’s “Total Care” line hopes to lure customers to the venerable laundry goods by boasting the products’ latest innovations that include technology from P&G beauty brands. Check out Gunn’s laundry advice on how to “make it work” at Tide’s website and swing by Ann Taylor Loft retailers for free samples starting in September.

Ok, so two Karl Lagerfeld posts in two days might seem a bit excessive, but the kooky fashion icon provided so many comical quotes in a recent interview with the Times’ Sunday magazine that it would be a crime not to post. The oft-smug designer sat down to express his dislike of intellectuals–”I don’t like their (intellectuals) company. I’m the most superficial man on Earth”– and his “abstract” view of death– “Everything changes, except death. Billions have died before us, so it can’t be that bad.” Lagerfeld also revealed a secret about his footwear, revealing he buys shoes a size too small because he “likes the way it feels.” Ok, one last quote for your giggling pleasure: “I have no problem with journalists. Only if they are really stupid, or if they’ve got bad breath, or if they smell.”

Marc Jacobs has tapped faux-lesbian girl group t.A.T.u to star in his new fall-winter ad campaign. Don’t expect to see the quirky ads in the pages of Vogue anytime soon though, as the campaign will only appear in Russia, which makes sense since the last thing most Americans remember about the Russian pop group is a white underwear extravaganza of a performance at the 2003 VMAs.

Could the Lifetime network’s wooing of “Project Runway” signal a major shift at the network known for melodramatic movies of the week and “Golden Girls” reruns? The female-targeted cable channel’s original programming has enjoyed relative success with shows like “Army Wives,” but with “Project Runway” joining the channel in November, Lifetime is diving into the crowded world of reality competition shows. “Blush: The Search for America’s Greatest Makeup Artist” will serve as a companion to the network’s expensive “Runway” acquisition. Lifetime has ordered six-episodes of “Blush” that will feature eight would-be makeup artists living together in L.A. and battling it out for the grand prize.

Although bikini-clad pole dancers may be standard fare for beer commercials, French viewers of the new Orangina commercial think sexing up the animal kingdom is taking it a little too far. The audience was shocked by scenes of Orangina “…exploding between the thighs of zebras and squirting onto the breasts of other animals…” and phoned in numerous complaints after the commercial was aired during an episode of “How to Look Good Naked.” One children’s charity says the commercial sends mixed messages to kids, but one has to ask, why are they watching “How to Look Good Naked,” anyway?

Johnny Depp, Philip Seymour Hoffman, yadda yadda yadda–we’ve all heard the buzz swirling around Hollywood about who will make the move to Gotham in The Dark Night sequel, but the latest rumored villain could cause a few jaws to drop. Director Christopher Nolan is reportedly wooing Cher, yes Cher, for the role of Catwoman. Nolan wants the feisty feline character to be a bit more of a vamp and, of course, a 62-year-old woman with face stiffness rivaling Joan Rivers screams sex kitten villain. At least we know she has no problem with skin tight leather bodysuits.

Ditch the Hannah Montana spiral notebooks and scrunchies because a product line based on the CW’s new “Beverly Hills 90210″ will hit stores shelves in early 2009. Aiming to grab the attention of tween girls, who happily beg their parents to spend big bucks on anything and everything related to the sensation du jour, the extensive product line will feature everything from apparel to cosmetics and school supplies. A CBS Consumer Products spokeswoman also revealed that the merchandise will include “iconic graphics” from the original version of the teen soap. Let’s hope for some peel-and-stick Brandon and Dylan sideburns!

If things that go bump in the night have you clinging to your childhood teddy bear, consider swapping out that raggedy old stuffed animal for a fluffy companion of the chicer variety. German toy-maker Steiff will create a sunglass-sporting teddy bear modeled after famous fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld and set to be sold at Neiman Marcus stores in September. Don’t expect a line Lagerfeld Madame Alexander dolls any time soon though, as the fashion icon commented, “Nothing scares me more than people with some doll collection. Frightening. Maybe I had one (a teddy bear); I don’t remember. I never played with anything like toys. I wanted to be grown-up.”

What in the name of plastic footwear is going on France?! Gold Digger obtained some exclusive shots from the upcoming issue of French Vogue that feature the normal model pouting and completely impractical wardrobe, but the choice in footwear has raised eyebrows and perplexed fashion purists. Brazilian model Raquel Zimmermann dons bright orange Crocs for one particularly gloomy shot. Yes, Crocs, as in the plastic clogs causing more cringing from coast-to-coast that pajama pants in public. Maybe some greater message exists within the image (her threads do scream prison-chic), but for now feel free to throw virtual eggs at the French Vogue folks.

If computers had legs and could balance in stilettos, then fashion week watchers would enjoy a PC catwalk courtesy of designer Vivienne Tan and Hewlett Packard. Tam has hooked up with HP to create a limited-edition computer perfect for PC-devotee fashionistas. HP previously collaborated with “Empress of Style” Vera Wang to create skins for laptops, so we shall see which designer can make PC look hipper. Maybe they should just slap an Apple logo on it.

The world of higher education reached an all time low when the Universite Laval in Canada presented Celine Dion with an honorary doctorate. Although the singer failed to finish high school, the school believed her personal and professional achievements warranted the degree. When presented with the honor, she encouraged students to pursue their educations, but not to forget about the importance of real life experience. She added that, “If there is something that has guided my life, it’s my wish to excel and go farther, to the maximum of my abilities, to the top of my goals, my hopes and my dreams.” Seriously?

Pamela Anderson might not be a great swimmer in real life but she played one on TV, and now she wants to practice a little mouth-to-mouth on America’s Olympic fave, Michael Phelps. “Swimmer’s bodies are the best and he is the best of the best. He really is. It’s the way he shakes his arms out before he jumps in the pool. . .” Sure, he’s sporting a skin-tight suit and she’s looking at his arms. Who knows, maybe he’s in the market for a couple of flotation devices.

Nightlife photographer Patrick McMullan has announced the creation of PMc, a bimonthly glamorous fashion “magazine” configured exclusively for iPhones.The digital mag will feature photos from McMullan and articles by popular authors, including Nanny Diaries co-author Nicola Kraus. iPhone owners wanting to grab “an inside look into the glamorous world of Patrick McMullan and his peers” can download PMc on iTunes for 99 cents per issue. Great, now folks from Tulsa to Toledo can play make-believe New York social scene via their Apple gadgets.

Only gymnasts and supermodels can announce retirement at a mere 20-years-old–Gemma Ward’s catwalk days could soon end as the doll-faced beauty considers an acting career. Ward already received positive reviews for her role in the upcoming Australian film The Black Balloon. Let’s hope Gemma didn’t sign up for the Cindy Crawford acting academy. Fair Game anyone?

In the “huh?” news du jour: Ricky Martin has welcomed twin sons into the world via a surrogate. The “Livin’ La Vida Loca” singer’s rep released a statement detailing the situation: “The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky’s full-time care. Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children.” The 36-year-old, whose sexual orientation has often been the topic of tabloid speculation, is an outspoken supporter of children’s causes, which begs the question: why didn’t he adopt?

The first fashion meets swimming rumor popped up earlier in the week with word Michael Phelps had landed a top model, but unfortunately Phelps put the kibosh on discussing his love life. So, onto the next buzz about an Olympic swimmer out of the water and into the world of high-end fashion: Dara Torres, the 41-year-old super mom and super swimmer, may strut the runway for designer Charles Nolan. Nolan reportedly saw the doe-eyed athlete on a “Today” segment and decided she would be a fabulous addition to one of his shows. Now this is how athletes turn into models, without stripping down and baring all–looking at you Amanda Beard.

The fact that a 100 million or so regular folks saw Janet Jackson’s undergarments during Super Bowl XXXVIII’s halftime show could give the singer a little sales boost for her soon-to-be-released lingerie line. Named after a single off her 1986 Control album, the Pleasure Principle collection features 18-pieces of satin and lace creations ranging in size from 32A to 44G. Nipple shields sold separately.

“Firefly: The Complete Series” touches down on planet Blu-ray in November — long-awaited news for technologically advanced Joss Whedon fanboys. All 14 episodes are set for release Nov. 11, in a three-disc box that retails for $90. Extra features new and exclusive to the “Firefly” Blu-rays aren’t much: a “reunion” roundtable discussion and a single-episode commentary with Whedon and three cast members. Other extras are ported over from the 2003 DVD set.

If the Islamic opposition party has anything to do with it, Avril Lavigne’s tour bus won’t be stopping in Malaysia. Not the first female artist to encounter issues, Christina Aguilera and Beyonce skipped the country altogether and Gwen Stefani sucked it up and covered it up for her performance; the Pussycat Dolls got slapped with a $2,875 fine for indecency. Although Lavigne’s people say there is nothing indecent about the show, the youth wing of the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party maintains that the singer’s show is just too sexy for Malaysian young people. Performers are required to don clothing from chest to knee, refrain from articles bearing obscene or drug-related messages and bypass performance standards like shouting and jumping. Well, guess she’ll just have to rely on cheap gimmicks like songs to grab the audience’s attention.

Jennifer Lopez has earned a deserved reputation as a somewhat delusional, self-obsessed star, so it should not come as a surprise that the former Fly Girl can’t figure out why everyone seems to pay more attention to Michael Phelps’s record-breaking swimming than her triathlon training. A backstage snitch at “Good Morning America,” where J.Lo had graciously stopped by to discuss her training, says the singer/actress/egotist was overhead complaining that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer. She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’”

Yep, you heard it, all Canadian, all the time, all the way, baby! Well, all Canadian at least 50% of the time is what the new Northern Peaks channel is promising to viewers who have had enough of imported porn. The president of Real Productions described the need for a new channel as “…a bit of a tiredness in seeing all American stuff…There is always that thrill for something that is local and you get the sense that these are people you can meet at the supermarket.” (Wonder where they’re shopping,,,) The company is definitely ready to roll with 200 films and 75 shows in its Canadian adult library. I wonder if that includes that Canadian oracle of sexual knowledge from Oxygen’s late night line-up…I love her!

When the Pew Research Center took a poll of which news anchors America most admired in 2007, Jon Stewart of the “Daily Show” came in at number four…tied with Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw of NBC, Dan Rather of CBS and Anderson Cooper of CNN. For those who believe that means America has hit an all-time low, they might be surprised (and a little thankful) for all the work put into the show. Describing the creative process, Stewart commented that it “would be very unpleasant for most people to watch: it’s really a gathering of curmudgeons expressing frustration and upset, and the rest of the day is spent trying to mask or repress that through whatever creative devices we can find.” By show time, though, Stephen Colbert points out that “to get that gallon of sour mash down to that one shot of pure whiskey takes patience” as well as “discipline and focus.” Pass the bottle.