Garrett Lisi epitomizes every suburban mom/high school teacher’s worst nightmare: a surfer living on the beach, doctorate in theoretical physics sitting on the shelf while he guides hikes and builds bridges, the possibility of being homeless next month pretty good. Well, think again! Lisi’s online article, “An Exceptionally Simple Theory of Everything,” has struck the scientific world like a lightening bolt, outlining a new theory of the universe based on the mathematical pattern E8. While former theories linked three of the four fundamental forces in the universe, Lisi’s model also incorporates the elusive force of gravity as well. “My brain exploded with the implications and the beauty of the thing…I thought: ‘Holy crap, that’s it!’” Duu-ude.

Imagine an innocent cut on the knee leading to the nightmare of seemingly growing roots, and there you have the dilemma that faced Dede, an Indonesian fisherman, until University of Maryland’s Dr. Anthony Gasparri picked up the case. A case of HPV, which generally causes small warts on its sufferers, combined with a rare genetic condition unable to hinder the wart growth led to root-like lesions blossoming from the man’s hands and feet. Fired from his job and abandoned by his wife, Dede was left to depend on his extended family and a gig with the local freak show to support his two children. Synthetic vitamin A and surgery should allow him to lead a normal life, but bureaucratic obstacles necessitate him staying in Indonesia for the time being.

We have entered the world of shopping ’round the clock, click here, click there, ta-dah and all without having to engage in an awkward conversation with a nosy salesperson or drab cashier. While online shopping won’t likely ever disappear, do we all secretly miss having that middle-aged woman in housewares tell us where to find jackets? In studies that looked at the satisfaction of three completely different groups–convicted felons, venture capitalists and injured patients–the level of “customer” satisfaction directly tied to the amount of feedback and attention offered. In a hurried world, customer relationships can not fall by the wayside if companies hope to grow.

Expectations for LA to land in the big pond at some point (some hoping for sooner rather than later) run high, but what about New York City? Though not on a single major fault line like its western counterparts, a “family” of smaller fault lines — discovered in a recent analysis of local seismic activity conducted by Columbia University — could be just as disastrous for the metropolis. Of particular concern is the Indian Point nuclear facility’s location near the largest of the faults, though a spokesperson claims it “may very well be among the safest places to go during a seismic event.” Yeah, they’ll be lining up for that opportunity.

Charlie Brown seemed like such a nice guy, but some Canadian scientists are claiming that men with wider faces tend to be more violent. After looking at the behavior of professional and varsity hockey players on the ice, as well as college students in lab-based video games, the researchers were astounded to find a link between something as simple as facial width and aggression. Other scientists believe the connection might be more psychological, in that “baby-faced” men may be challenged more often than their tougher-looking counterparts, the Peppermint Patty effect per se. The width of a woman’s face, however, revealed no links to aggression.

So the headgear currently in use may not make one a big hit with the ladies, but scientists are excited about the possibilities for paraplegics using burgeoning tongue-controlled technology. The most promising system utilizes magnets on the tip of the tongue and a virtual keyboard that would allow people to not only manipulate a wheelchair, but also control a computer and home appliances. As opposed to the “sip and puff” and eye-controlled systems currently on the market, the tongue could offer more versatility and less confusion regarding commands. May want to skip the tongue piercings, though.

Could that tuna actually be a social-climbing tilapia? There’s something fishy about some New York sushi, as two teenagers discovered using a DNA bar coding technique that’s bringing science back to the people. Inspiration for the “freelance science project” was born over a plate of raw fish when Kate Stoeckle asked her father — a scientist and supporter of DNA bar-coding, a simplified species identification tool — if he thought sushi would make a good sample. His affirmation led she and friend, Louisa Strauss, to put sixty samples to the test only to find that 23% were mislabeled in the stores and restaurants they surveyed, often as more expensive cuts. Wonder when the do-it-yourself paternity tests will be hitting the shelves?

When Darwin boarded the Beagle for the Galapagos, did it ever cross his mind that a beagle might eventually be the beneficiary of his selection theory in the brain department? A controversial new study released in a meeting of the Canine Science Forum in Budapest suggests that after eons of human companionship, dogs may have acquired the ability to determine right from wrong along with other cognitive abilities. Commonplace behaviors such as barking and play fighting, which are not nearly as common in the wild, appear to be adaptations to the company they keep. Scientists have also run experiments used with toddlers regarding learning and recognition with some success. Good to know we’re having a positive impact on at least one species.

You may want to tuck away those images of cuddly Disney animals and be on your guard. Scientists are noticing an alarming increase in animal attacks on humans across the board (known as human-animal conflict or HAC), from elephants to badgers, stingrays to dogs. Is it revenge, desperation or familiarity breeding discontent? No one is sure. In America alone there has been an abrupt increase in the number of assaults by dogs, mountain lions, foxes and sharks off the coasts. In Uganda, our usually peaceful cousins, chimps, “…have started killing children by biting off their limbs then disembowelling them…” The examples go on and on with stingrays and crocs going so far as to leap out of the water to attack boaters. Some scientists warn against attributing too many human characteristics to animals, but others remind us that we, too, are part of the animal kingdom…and a coup d’etat may be in the works.

No, it’s not a clip of Legally Blonde from the studio floors , but the answer to a universal call: please help my hair. A presentation to the American Chemical Society meeting in Philly this year by German scientists looked at the roadblocks to silky smoothness through nanoscale analysis and found that the scaliness of hairs rubbing against one another is to blame for the frizzies as well as dull, hard to comb locks. Seemingly trivial, it is worthwhile to note that hair products are a $60 billion-a-year global industry. Of course other factors, such as humidity, also play a part, but we can all sit back now that we know the problem is finally being addressed.
(Photo Credit: Anson Hung/iStockphoto)

If you weren’t having nightmares about the government yet, get the warm milk and Lunesta ready for tonight. Researchers from Carnegie Mellon University, the University of Maryland and the University of California, Irvine have teamed up to develop technology that could lead to mind reading computers backed with $4 million from the army. Such technology could greatly benefit victims of strokes or other brain injuries, but may also lead to more invasive interrogation tactics. The scientists, though, explain that the subject’s willingness to disclose information is key and that they are years from being able to “read” random thoughts. That must be why the Army is footing the bill, their insatiable scientific curiosity.

Good thing Dalhausser is so tall since that blue shirt isn’t doing him any favors. Evolutionarily speaking, red gets you noticed, though that wasn’t the only reason the world was sizing up China’s gymnasts. As monkeys evolved from more primitive primates, who could only see greens and blues, the world became a much more colorful place with yellows, oranges and reds peppering the forest. The ability to spot ripe fruit in the trees and the unmistakable red of a baboon in heat gave the primates an evolutionary edge, finding food they could easily digest and locating the ladies on the prowl. So the next time you’re trying to nab the spotlight, skip the blue for raging red. UPDATE: A study in the August issue of the journal Psychological Science has concluded that referees appear to have a bias towards competitors wearing red as well.

No, no, we’re not talking about a robot with creative tendencies, but a real robot controlled by a compilation of rat neurons. “Gordon” is controlled a brain stimulated by 60 electrodes. For example, the electrodes let his brain know when he approaches an obstacle in his path and his brain then instructs the robot as to how to move around the object. Scientists from the University of Reading in England hope to gain insight into brain-related illnesses such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s by studying how memories are created and how the brain controls the body. Just don’t distract it with a piece of cheese.

The tendency of one’s friends to hook up with the nastiest guy/girl in the bar by closing time might be a personally well-documented fact, but scientists in England have given the academic thumbs up to the phenomenon of beer goggles. Eighty-four straight college students were given drinks either laced with vodka or not, then asked to rate photos of members of each sex. Surprisingly, respondents found both sexes more attractive after only one drink. Future plans to expand the study include testing whether or not alcohol improves perceptions of beauty overall and not simply in humans. It seems safe to say these results may answer a few questions we’ve had regarding what’s been going into the gene pool.

Here’s one to argue with your child’s kindergarten teacher. After numerous observations of octopus behavior, it appears that there are actually six arms and two legs on the creatures, rather than the traditional eight-arm theory. The brainy invertebrate also appears to depend quite heavily on googly-eye-tentacle coordination to control its suckers since an octopus with a damaged googly tends to favor the “arms” on the other side. So, if you find yourself facing a scary octopus with one cloudy eye, swim to that side.

The funk that makes women frisky could be altered by the birth control pill, according to scientists at the University of Newcastle in England, and once a woman ceases using it, their preferences could change. Since the pill puts women in a “pregnant” state, which, in an evolutionary sense, does not require a woman to find a mate, women tend to seek men with similar major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes. These stinky genes contribute to immunity function, so offspring may be less able to ward off disease, but another effect could be increased infertility in MHC similar couples. The moral of the story: women on the pill should breathe through their mouths or carry a bottle of Febreeze.

It’s a banner week for Star Trek fans as articles on cloaking technology are set to be released later this week in the journals Nature and Science. Scientists from UC Berkeley have developed a cloak of metamaterial that creates a negative refraction of light rendering objects invisible, a technology with both military and medical potential. Now if they could get working on that teleportation device maybe we wouldn’t have to worry so much about gas prices…
(Photo Credit: alan_smithee/iStockphoto)

Could societies back in the seventh millennium B.C. coined milk mustaches as a fashion trend of the thirsty? Possibly, as scientists have discovered milk production dates back 2,000 years earlier than previously thought to 6,000 B.C. Thousands of pottery shards found all over the Near East and the Balkans tested positive for residues of milk fat, suggesting earlier dairy consumption and, more surprisingly, in areas outside the region where agriculture first popped up.

A baby can bring a smile to many faces (or a laugh if they’re funny-lookin’), but no one more than mom according to the University of Sydney’s Brain & Mind Research Institute. The hormone oxytocin, released during labor and breastfeeding or otherwise administered, allows people to remember pleasant experiences and block out the unpleasant. With the drop in the number of births and length of time breastfeeding in Western culture, women are becoming less likely to play peacemaker and more likely to hold a grudge. Here’s to another weapon for La Leche’s arsenal in the Battle of the Boob!

The outlook for almost half the world’s primates has taken a nosedive in recent years according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature, a coalition of governments, scientists and conservationists. Our fuzzy cousins are falling prey to deforestation and being hunted for food, monkey meat being more prized as a dinner delicacy than chicken or beef, particularly in Africa; the Bouvier’s red colobus of Africa hasn’t made an appearance in 25 years. Asia’s primates, though, are facing the greatest threat with 71% of species facing extinction. Head of the IUCN noted that, “If you took all the individuals of the top 25 most endangered species and assigned each of them a seat…they probably wouldn’t fill a football stadium. “

Lecturers may want to lay off the professorial tweed and do a few vocal gymnastics to keep their students’ attention, scientists say, but that’s only part of the story of boredom. Although studies have shown that boredom and depression go hand in hand, a firm cause and effect relationship has yet to be established. Doodling and daydreaming distractions may also be justified since the mind appears to yearn for a certain amount of activity, and if what’s being presented is old news, the mind tunes it out. Other studies have shown that boredom can be an incredible motivator for creativity as well. So, at that next yawner of a meeting, do a little mind limbo or, if you can risk it, take a nap ’cause who couldn’t use a little more sleep.

Claws are drawn for the astronomer cat fight of the decade, as the world’s great minds gather at a mid-August conference at Johns Hopkins. Many scientists were taken aback by the International Astronomical Union’s recent decisions to downgrade Pluto to a “dwarf-planet” then “plutoid” without input from the greater astronomy community. Discoveries of other planet contenders, such as Eris and Sedna, have only muddied the debate. Don’t hold your breath for a definitive answer, though: “Worst case is that people throw tomatoes at each other…” remarked Neil deGrasse Tyson of New York. Sure hope Pluto’s heard the old adage about size not being important.

Got an oil spill, old gas station, or garage that needs a good environmental scrubbin’? You may be in luck, as researchers from the University of South Australia have discovered a wee bug that seems to like devouring the nasty stuff. When studying groundwater contamination, Megh Mallavarapu discovered bacteria resisting the effects of toxic substances, and actually consuming them, leading to the toxins’ breakdown into carbon dioxide and water. Their next step is to look into the bacteria’s genes to see which are responsible for this uncanny ability and if other strains can be found that may do the job more effectively.

With the intensity of hurricanes on the rise due to global warming, the US government is rumored to be considering a number of options to do a little damage control. Different methods of seeding storms or cooling the sea water could lessen storms or alter their courses. William Laska of the Department of Homeland Security commented that, “We do not want to stop hurricanes completely as this could cause other unintended consequences…But if we can decrease the intensity of a hurricane from a level five to a level four, then the amount of damage can be dramatically reduced.” Critics of weather-modifying schemes, though, note that success is doubtful with “…relatively poor knowledge about the mechanisms that cause weather in the first place.”

Brian May gave a whole new meaning to “taking a break” from school — 30 years — and his comeback was not with the legendary rock group he founded, but with the acquisition of a Ph.D. in astrophysics. His thesis focused on a phenomenon called Zodiacal light, which occurs when a cone-shaped light appears before dawn and after sunset, most easily seen in dark, rural areas (and, no, not with the help of substances). Upon receiving his doctorate, he was also appointed chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University, marking what may be the most drastic career change of all time. Never underestimate the rock.